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Welcome to the world of vance. On this site is something for everyone.*

newslatest soccer headlines and almost-true stories.

asian soundslarge grin at latest releases from the likes of Tears for Fiaz and Indian Brown.

burt reynoldshas gone nude for the local paper

a day in doncastercheck the barmy tykes. Daaaaave...

geordieslatest software for the north east.

the flatmatessix Cardiff freshers thrown into a cauldron of blood, sweat, and luncheon meat.

blue hotelthe sequel; set in a hotel.

relentlesstranscript of the late Bill Hicks' cannabis routine.

*excludes people with moustaches called Nigel and those who put their phones on pub tables. "Fags, lighter, phone, sorted." Dicks. Why not get all your money out and put it in piles as well?

A typical game at Anfield

A typical game at Anfield, but it could all end in tears. Find out more in The Kop. Just click on the links atop the page.

'Against the grain we shall remain.'
- Leftfield, Dusted

Vance: half man, half amazing. Nas said.

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